The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
