It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
