I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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