guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
