Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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