There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
