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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
