It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
