just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I think i got beer on your cat.
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