i just wanna soil my oats bro
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
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the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
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it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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