I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
