I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
