The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
