I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
