This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
