i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
