I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The uberlube is also flammable
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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