just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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