Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
