I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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