It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
