I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
