D3 body, D1 cock
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
