Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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