What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
