I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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