that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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