I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
