You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
