Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
