It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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