and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
