His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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