you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
