Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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