You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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