I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize