Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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