i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
