We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
