Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
