Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
