I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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