I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
