some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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