I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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