I checked into jail on foursquare
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
