I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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