omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize