Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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