so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
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Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
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Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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