Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
