im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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