i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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