you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Who died my cat blue again?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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