I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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