You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
